Dick woke the next morning in a dreary little flat tucked away on a side street off the Iffley Road that was clearly part of Les Rollright-Hohns student accomodation property portfolio. He didn't know why the club couldn't have put him in a hotel as according to his conversation with Gene Eale-Stolwut last night there were no financial constraints on Dick's recruitment of his own backroom staff or his forays into the transfer market to bolster the squad.

 

This was music to the journeyman coach's ears, as he had identified some transfer targets and he had already tapped up and had verbal agreements (which was as good as a signature because these were proper Rugby men whose word was their bond) with what he considered to be, potentially, the finest coaching team ever.

 

In his youth Dick had been a half decent player himself (before injury meant that he had gone into coaching when still a young man) and he had been fortunate enough to have played against some very good players with whom he had forged some of those life long friendships that only Rugby can engender. Some of the toughest competitors he had played against were South African and it was an ex Springbok legend that he had asked to be his second in command.

 

Sylvester Torvhaans den Bosch was acknowledged as one of the finest attacking centres to have ever played the game and after a few brief calls and the odd email, Dick had convinced the legendary centre to dip his still bruised toe into the coaching waters, far from the gaze of his countrymen, in England. Sly, would probably still be playing today if it were not for an accidental injury while enjoying some downtime in the Kruger National park. Sylvester had been able to dodge the charging elephant, but he had left his move so late 'to fix' his opponent, the beast had trodden on his toes breaking them and rendering the fabled sidestep a thing of the past. Sylvester Torvhaans den Bosch was to be the attack and handling coach.

 

Nockem Oonderaarshuis was reckoned to be the hardest hitting back row forward to have ever pulled on the Springbok jersey. He was fearless and ferocious at the breakdown and could turn the ball over quicker than you could say 'in like Flynn'. His own brush with wildlife, on the same trip to the Kruger with Sylvester, getting caught between a Hippo and the water, is said to be the only time he ever went backwards in contact, in his life. Nockem was to be the Defence coach with emphasis on technique and the ruck in particular.

 

Baalkhup Wittderoids was a man mountain with an appetite for destruction. He played the game so close to the limits of legality that he was feared by every side that took the field against him and many of his own teammates. He lorded it over opponents at the lineout and mangled people in the maul. He was a human wrecking ball with a bad temper to match and it is reckoned that this cost him quite a few caps as even the Springbok selectors baulked at his no nonsense approach. Baalkhup was to look after the set piece and strength training.

 

Loïc Chitor-Vershœfel was one of the fastest wings to have ever stepped over the whitewash. His searing pace would have earned him more caps had he chosen to play for France, his mother's family was from Brittany, but his father would have disowned him. Loic was a counter attacking genius with an eye for a gap, an insatiable taste for success and a nose for the line. His twinkling toes had taken him over the tryline too many times to remember and he would be in charge of the counter attack, finishing and speed work.

 

Houffitt Troodepolls had played in the same side as Loic and they had a seemingly telepathic understanding for finding space and the best way to rip holes in the opposition defence. The 'Capetown Cavalier' as he was known, was unflinching under a high ball, unpredictable in attack and unerring in defence. He had a prodigious punt, back in the days when the spiral kick was the stock in trade of any self respecting fullback. He could also bisect the posts from any angle, at any distance, off the tee and it is said that if he had played his entire career on the high veldt, he would have broken every points scoring record in Currie Cup history. Houffitt had an eye for the ladies, a taste for champagne and a nose for trouble. This meant his supreme talent went uncapped. Houffitt was primarily the kicking coach but would have a brief to train backline skills.

 

Manfred Rhea-Pittishuns was not as talented as his colleagues but he had a work ethic second to no one. He had made the most of his skills by being hands down the fittest player on the park. His unflinching belief in the maxim that 'If you want to be the best and you want to beat the rest; dedication's what you need.' meant that he was always the first into training and the last to leave. He never had a sniff at the Springbok jersey but he was a loyal servant of the Pumas for many years. Manny was to take charge of fitness and conditioning.

 

Gene had pretty much not said no to anything all night and he was at pains to paint the club in as good a light as possible and Les had offered his assistance in any capacity required and was also keen to put a positive spin on everything. This was a club on the up even though they had just gone down. The young squad had great potential even though they had hardly won a game all year. The supporters were as committed as ever even if their numbers were dwindling. The possibilities were endless at a club with a proud history such as this. Dick had nodded along not wishing to rock the boat with his new employers at such an early juncture.

 

Later on, however, when Dick asked about the involvement of Otto Krokov at the club and stated that he had only made contact with his choice of coaching staff, after accepting the job offer he had received from Ivan Hansa-Furevereetink the General Manager, he could feel the tension in the room rise. Les had looked surprised and turned towards Gene for an answer, who brushed it aside with a comment about there 'obviously' being a 'couple of stipulations' attached to the investment by Krokov, namely the appointments of Dick as Head Coach and Ivan as General Manager. Noel interjected to say that they had been 'in communication' with the Krokov Korporation 'for some time' and that Ivan Hansa-Furevereetink was to take up the role of General Manager 'officially' on Monday but that they had been working together 'behind the scenes' and that he had been 'instrumental' in the acquisition of Dick as Head coach. Les said, with more than a hint of sarcasm, that he was glad, as 'Operations Director' to have been 'kept in the loop' and got up, reaching for his phone. Gene announced that he was off on his annual holiday to the Isles of Scilly and that Dick should liase with Noel Bott-Saynowt on any matters, 'including transfers, contracts that sort of thing, try not to spend it all.'

 

Dick, reflecting on the night before, thought that this was not what he had been expecting, but an amateur outfit, and he could only hope that the injection of professionalism that would come from his South African specialists, whom he liked to think of, though would never refer to in public, as his 'Braai'ns Trust' and the arrival of Ivan, would right the shi